Wednesday, May 31, 2006

and the rains keep coming back

time? 5:31 pm

antsy? YES!

I'm waiting ever so UNpatiently for the last 28 (another minute ticked away since I started this post) minutes to pass. I then get to get on a bus, travel to the southeast part of town where I am practicing yoga with the ever lovelies, Jill and Diana. I have my bag all ready to go, I just have to lock up, ring out and GO GO GO. Me, ready to practice yoga? You think?

Oh! Another minute has gone by...

And, it's started raining. I am okay with this because the tomato starts I planted on Monday need some rain water, but I just hope they don't end up drowning the rest of this week. The yard also needed some watering because we added more seed. The routine has been, pull some weeds, add some seeds. It seems to be working and the front lawn is looking more and more lush and green. Kev mentioned he wished he'd ripped up the whole front lawn, instead of just half of it that was really quite hideous. Ah well, live and learn.

I wish we'd have gotten done with all the bramble killing before the rains came back though. Dammit. It's one of those things where I'm happy it's raining because then I don't have to pay to water my lawn, BUT I'm sad because there are a few more hours of laborious yard work that NEED to happen soon. Actually, there are more like DAYS of laborious yard work that remain. This will be the year of the patio. We will make our yard an inviting, awe inspiring place for our friends to visit and hang out in. It WILL be a labor of love...

oh, and for those of you wondering, I now have 22 minutes left of my day at work.

lots o' babbling

Baby hat #2 almost done. It will be sent wrapped in Xmas paper. It's not really for then, but because it's much bigger than Augusta can wear right now...that's the time she'll probably fit it best.

Baby hat #3 is also coming along quite nicely. I need to get done with the green from #2 so that I can use it on this one. I'm not sure, but I have ideas swarming through my head as to what to do with babyblue.

I have nothing on the horizon, other than possibly a baby sweater (for another friend whom just told me they are preggers...more later as she makes the grand, it's not Jill or Chaz...OR ME!).

However, I do want to try making just sleeves. There is a sweater I saw at knitty dot com that I really liked, until I investigated closer and realized I wouldn't be able to wear a certain undergarment. So, I figured I could just make the sleeves. They are done as one big tube that then opens flat to go across the back and then close back up to tube shape for the other arm. I think it could be really cute and could work. You know, for those days you feel like just wearing sleeves.

Okay, enough knitting...

Kev is off to work. He's going to make calls today. Yesterday he was still getting his bearings, seeing as it was the first day back since training, and didn't do much as far as contacting leads and such. Today, he's ready and wanting to get started. This makes me happy. I hope he does as well as I think he will...I'm sure he will.

I am hoping to get the first half of the day tomorrow to work from home. Charles said he'd come open for me so I could build the ad that is due tomorrow (well, I am turning it in tomorrow since it's due on Monday). I need to get the "YES" that he will for sure open though. I hope it won't be a problem. I will speak with Ahmed today. Speaking of whom, I need to call him and remind him he has an interview this morning at 10:30. I am hoping we find someone to work the outlet so that I can get full Thursdays to work away from the shop. We have stuff to get on the site as well as pictures I need to change there. I want to start changing the images for the brand we carry the most of (Dansko) so that when you click the picture, it gets bigger...

Okay, must go gather my things to head in.

Happy Wednesday!

Monday, May 29, 2006

headway made

we ran through the bramble and we ran through the bushes.

we ran (can't remember the lyrics here) where a rabbit couldn't go...

We got so much accomplished today! We took Josie to the dog park where she played with Dexter, some labradoodle. We then went to Fred Meyers and got three large teracotta pots and came home to do yard work. Kev mowed while I planted our tomatoes in the pots. We had to do them out front and the soil there is soooo bad that we opted to plant them in containers. Jenn, my dear friend who gave me the starts, said that tomatoes can do well in containers. I laid about an inch and a half of tiny pebbles in the bottom to ensure proper drainage and then used a nice top soil/potting mix.

Then we moved to the backyard. Kev mowed it while I ran to the good ol store to get yard debris bags and gloves. We had gotten some amazing ones from my parents a few Xmas's ago, but they are somewhere in our front "storage" closet and well, they can't be found at the moment.

We attacked the bramble vine with a vengeance! We chopped the wood into smaller pieces (perhaps some of you remember the wood pile we made after we chopped down part of our cherry tree...ummm, about two years ago?). Yeah, we're a little on the slow side. Not any longer though. We made HUGE headway into that project and then we decided we had run out of steam and since we have a party we are heading to shortly, we figured we'd clean up, make potato salad and rest a bit...

Speaking of the taters. The timer is a dingin'!

Saturday, May 27, 2006

back to the norm

Well, both Simon and Josie are happy Pops is home. The three of them are all snug in bed. I'm ready for work, just waiting for 10 minutes to pass so that I can go stand and wait for my bus. It's so nice having Kev home. Chloe is even more playful this morning than she was all week. The balance is right in the world again.

I'm steadily working on baby hat #3. I decided to take it on the bus with me this morning because usually Saturday morning buses are empty and if I have the cables flying around, I won't hit anyone. We'll see though. It's going to be the tiniest and cutest hat I've ever made. I am hoping by Monday I have it big enough to try on some fairly newbie baby's beans (it's what I've taken to calling their heads). I'm going to totally rock it today and tomorrow and borrow Sonja's babies. :) She won't mind, Jenn does it often...I mean, we don't have babies of our own, so... Plus, Sonja knits and understands the necessity of trying on hats and things as you go along.

Okay, time has come. I know, fascinating post, no?

Friday, May 26, 2006

hey dad, he's back!

Well, his plane got in much earlier than expected. This was a nice surprise. He called me just a mere 10 minutes after 6:00 to tell me his plane had landed. I was just sitting down to have a quick glass of wine with Jenn (who'd had a craptastic day at work and needed to decompress a bit). He said not to worry, Kiley was giving him a ride home and he'd see me when I got home. Needless to say, it was a quick glass of wine. She totally understood, and that is why I love her.

He's out getting pizza right now for dinner. I know, you can take the boy out of the pizza shop...

woo to the oot!

Got word that Kev got on an earlier flight. Not sure what that means as far as when he's arriving home, but...he's in flight right now!!!

kev gets home tonight!

Kev gets home tonight. Did you hear me?! KEV GETS HOME TONIGHT!!

I am going to come home, feed everyone, let Josie out, wait for Cindy (friend/shoe rep) to come over so we can go to El Tapatio for dinner. After that I'll bring her back to her car and pick up Josie to go get Kev because HE GETS HOME TONIGHT!!

I started knitting on baby hat #3. Yes, I did recently finish #1 (which Papa Murray says he'll be sharing photos soon) and I do have #2 on the needles, but... you see, I am trying this new technique. And this baby hat, needs to be done for the shower. When I add A to B in this equation, I really want to get C. I figured I should start earlier so in case the "magic loop" doesn't like me (or quite frankly I want to throw my new 36" circular #3 needles out the window) I would have enough time to drag out the double pointed needles and make a baby hat of hate. So far, magic loop is helping me create the cutest, SMALLEST baby hat. I'm trying to do a newborn sized one (well, not too small, but smaller for him to wear when he wears the cute onsie I am giving as well...the blue of the hat picks up the blue in the image on the front of the onsie). I'll try to remember to take a photo of the two things together, before wrapping them up to give to Dayna.

Wow, I can sense some of you have glazed over so, back to the topic at hand.


Did I mention that? Perhaps I sound a wee bit excited? That's because I am.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

friday, the day after today!

The calm of my yoga practice brought quite a bit to me last night. I've not been sleeping all that well since Kev's been out of town, but then again, that's not new. I have never slept well when he's not home. Last night was different. After our practice, I took Jill home and headed home myself. I had a wonderful conversation with Kev and he even got to talk to Josie. I put him on speaker phone. She really didn't react all that much, other than to lick my hand as it was holding the phone lower for her to hear.

He's having a good time. Everyone else had gone drinking and watching the season finale of Lost. He opted to stay at the hotel and read up on his studies. He's enjoying himself, but he's ready to get home. I'm ready for him to get home too.

Tonight's plans are simple, go to the Home Depot and buy large pots to plant my three tomato starts. Also, must get dirt. I will then come home and take Josie outside with me (if it's not raining) and have a planting fest. If it's raining I still need to get them into the dirt so I will leave Josie inside and do it myself.

Friday I am meeting one of my reps for dinner. We've not had a chance to play catch up, since it was just the busy season for her. We'll chat, eat, and enjoy each others company. I will then swing home to get Josie and then we'll be off to the airport. I will suggest to Cindy that I go ahead and drive us, since I really do have to come back to the house to get the diggity dawg. It wouldn't be a trip to the airport without my side kick!

And you know what, Friday...THAT'S TOMORROW!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

it's all about the friends

I have been emailing with my dear knit guru today. She's indicated that she WILL be picking me up and driving me home tonight. Not taking no for an answer. I can't tell you all how much this really takes off my mind. I was worried of my bus running late, or a customer sticking around way longer than they should (with them though, I'd be all about saying "hey, um we closed at 6:00 and I have a bus to catch and a ton of people coming to my house at 7:00"). I imagined that I'd arrive home to friends crowding on my porch trying to stay dry while Josie barked at them all through the door. Stressing everyone out. But that will not be. My dear Guru will be taking the bus home, picking up her car and what nibblies she's bringing, feeding her cats and coming to pick me up. I love her.

With Kev being gone it's been quiet. I have decided that quiet, too much quiet, isn't all that good. Sure, I can put music on and create noise, but...the stillness that is in the house when it's just me and the critters is off. I long to hear his giggle as he's looking at something online (at the Ween forum). I wish that when I wake in the middle of the night it was because he was just coming to bed, rather than who knows why. Only a few more days and he'll be home.

things are under control

house clean....check
spinach dip made....check
chicken marinating....check
dog bored out of her mind....check
cats sleeping....check

The girls are coming over for a girls grill out. Although it might be a grill in since it's raining here. If it lets up a bit I'll go with the outdoor grill, but if it keeps on as it has been this morning, I'll pull out the indoor grill. I hope it lets up a bit. :)

I'm hoping that the bus isn't running late (or I don't have customers who are lagging). Since I told everyone 7:00...I could be pushing my luck!

Spoke with Kev last night, although it was hard to hear him because of the loud music at the restaurant and then in the shuttle it was loud as well. I had asked him to call me later (as in "later, when you get to the room where it's quiet") but 20 minutes after the first hard to hear conversation he called back (that was from the loud shuttle). I told him I would have preferred to be able to hear him (and his response was, "WHAT?" because of the music).

He's got a date with his mom tonight after the session. I am so glad they are getting time together. They are going to dinner and a movie.

Okay, have a few last minute things to take care of around this house before heading to work. I'm really looking forward to tonight with the girls. So far I think there are just five besides myself. I think that is a fine number. If more come, that's great too.

So, happy Tuesday everyone.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

almost perfect...thunder

Sitting in the glow of the laptop I am content. I have my big ol' black dawg by my feet. The cats are running all over the house. And Guru is on the cd player. I had a busy day after getting up and taking Kev to the airport. He's gone training. The great thing is, his Mama lives near where his training is so they get to see each other a few times. This also, makes me happy.

Today after Josie and I dropped him at the 'port we zipped by the dog park where she got to bark and chase and run. I was not surprised by the barking, hell the dog thinks she needs to be in charge of everything. But the chasing and running, a bit of a surprise. Apparently she likes her some little dogs. The one today was a corgi/chihuauha mix. We headed home so I could get cleaned up and ready for girls day with Jill. We went shopping. With Kev's new job, Summer really feeling like it's near, and with us not fitting any of our old clothing anymore, I felt we needed a few things. I hope Kev likes the two pairs of trousers I got him and the striped shirt (yes, Mom, he's in stripes!!). I think he will..

Anyway, it was quite a lovely day. After hanging out with Jill at their house I came home to my trio. I logged on and was happy that I got to chat a bit with my dear friend in Gradshittownville. She's someone I met right before she was moving away (3 months prior to her departure, isn't that right?). We used to try to tell ourselves we would be great pen pals, but it never really took off...dammit. I can hardly wait for her to move back because she is just. that. cool! She makes me laugh often and honestly, THAT is what a good friend can do (and I meant honestly as in honestly, a friend that makes you laugh is great as well as a big, honest laugh). Thanks, pal! ;)

The next best thing that could make this night almost perfect...thunder...

Saturday, May 20, 2006

second baby hat o' love

I have started the second hat. I am really quite happy to have it on the needles now. I'm letting the yarn tell me what it wants to do, just as the first one did. I know, talking yarn, call the people in the white coats to come and get me! LOL

The first of the hats should be getting to the baby on Monday (hear that Kris?). I ran a track and UPS indicated that it was out for delivery yesterday, but I really think that was wrong. I haven't heard anything and know the instant they get it I might just get an email with a picture. If they say it's okay, I might share it. I am sure that it's going to be huge on her, as it fit on a friends 18 month old really well.

This second hat is going to be quite cute. I can tell already. I've only got about three rows on the needles, but it is going to zip by. When done, I will post, as Augusta's mom doesn't read this (or at least I don't think she does).

I was hoping for a quiet day at work because when work is done, Ahmed doesn't mind if I knit a bit. I've got some recycling to break down, but other than that...not too crazy a day (touch wood). As soon as I put that out there though, I'm going to be crazy busy. Let's see, shall we?

Thursday, May 18, 2006

a bit about mamasita

It's the second day of Kev's new job. He's already left. It's been rather nice, having him home in the evenings, and it's not even been a full week yet. Next week he will be heading to Texas for training. I think he is excited because he gets to spend some time with his Mama.

Speaking of Mamasita...

Many years ago, just a mere two weeks after Kev and I started dating, Mamasita was getting remarried. Kev left Kansas to drive to Chicago and we had a rather tearful goodbye (well, I was teary). That night, when he called me to say he'd gotten there, he also said, "I wish you were here too." And the grand idea to fly one way to Chicago for the weekend was born.

I walked into Mamasita's home and there she is in tears. I had to pee so damn badly because with the excitement of seeing Kev after a whole 24 hours of not seeing him, I didn't have time to waste on going to the toilet when still in the airport. I also had no clue how long a drive it'd be to her home. I ducked into the powder room, which was right outside the kitchen, and I hear her crying and saying, "What a great first impression I must be giving I am in tears..." Or something like that.

I came out of the powder room a thousand times happier and now was ready to meet Mamasita, tears and all. It seemed as though there were some issues surrounding a little boy and his being crazy at the rehearsal picnic. This little boy was (still is) her soon to be husband's little boy. He has Down Syndrome. I don't think he really knew what was going on, other than there were a ton of people and people are great!!!! She said that she hoped the next day would prove to be better and he would be calmer.

He was. I made sure that he was attended to and played with and smooched on and he didn't leave my side until we got to the reception where he played with the other kids, all the cousins. I remember the words, "You are an angel" coming from her mouth. It really wasn't more than me playing with her new step son, but for her it was much more.

I loved her from the moment I met her. I wanted her day to be the best day she could ever have. I'm glad that I could be part of it and accepted so quickly. I love you, Mamasita!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

no spelling errors found!

I got to thinking today, about the friends whom we have never met. In the world of cyberspace it's much easier to meet people. It can be rewarding and wonderful and you can meet some really amazing people. I consider Reagan in Ohio to be quite a good friend. Someone whom I would call if I'd just gotten into an accident. Someone whose voice is familiar to me and brings me comfort. Someone whose interactions with her animals never ceases to make me smile. And someone who will call me in the middle of the night because there is a possum in her garage and she keeps opening the door and freaking herself out each and every time. Causing me to laugh and laugh and laugh.

I think about other people I've met and I realize that each and every one of them have offered me something. Sometimes ways are parted abruptly and other times they just fade away like the end of a sad song. And then there are the times where lovely friendships blossom. And each one has offered me something. Sometimes it is just hard to figure out what you were learning until some time has passed.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

want to post it so badly

I can't tell you how badly I really want to post a picture of a certain little baby's hat. However, knowing that her papa reads this hear blog (and knows it's being/been knit) I have decided to not spoil it completely for him and wait until they get it before I post the picture. The one thing I will say...IT'S FLIPPING CUTE!!!!!

Instead, I will post a picture of the cats. They are very cute too.

Well, I was attempting to post a picture of the cats, but something is holding it all up. Trust me, they are adorable in the shot. Actually sharing a chair!!! I'll try to load it again later tonight.

The day went better. Got my craft room all cleaned up. Meant to work on clearing out the drawers of fabric I have...maybe I'll do that now. I still have a couple of hours before Kev even gets home from his last night at the pizza shop.

What's that, you ask?

Well, Kev's gotten himself a new job. He'll be doing something that is more stimulating than flipping dough, not to say he didn't enjoy it. From what I understand he is helping hard to qualify applicants get home loans. He told me the term but I forgot what it was. My brain = sieve.

Okay, that fabric is calling me. Might even make a needle case for knit days for me to take all my beautiful bamboo needles and not have them flying all over the bag...Now, they are tucked in a pot that my friend Rachel made in our ceramics class. I could never pull pots, but she was a wiz! They really are quite pretty...again, the pictures are not wanting to be loaded.


look! something shiny.

I woke up angry this morning. I was having to get up to feed the crew once again. Every morning is the same. Simon walks across our heads, acting as though he is dying, and Kev pretends not to hear (most times that is). I got up muttering things under my breath about always having to get up to feed them (I know, how very passive aggressive of me). Crew fed, Josie let out to go potty, I made a pot of french press and called Mom.

They are in PA right now visiting my Grandmother. Her health is keeping us guessing at all times. Mom said Grandma seemed to have more energy and even though she didn't always seem to know who they were, she was not agitated.

We spoke for about 45 minutes, which is actually a little shy of the norm. They were getting ready for lunch and had to go.

I was going to call my Mamasita-in-law, but figured I should wait until Kev got up and we could both speak with her. She's quite an amazing woman as well. I must say that I have lucked out in more ways than one when I married into her family.

So, instead I cleaned my room. You know the one I'm supposed to have set up for me to do such things as knit, blog, blog about knitting, etc. The one that had become the dumping ground for just about everything (company coming over, put this Shanny's room). I decided to put on good music (Herbie Hancock) and just clean. I suppose I was mean in not really trying to make an effort to be quiet with Kev sleeping in the next room (again with the passive aggressiveness). But he's up now and we are about to get bit in the ass by the cleaning bug. I told him when he's ready, let me know. Until then I have a scarf to knit for a friend whose birthday is on the 24th and she lives in Ohio (I don't think she reads this so...and if you do Reagan, act surprised!).

That is the day thus far. I suppose I will update more later on.

Friday, May 12, 2006

my mom

So my Dad had posted a little while ago about music and songs that make our hearts sing, cry, rejoice, etc. Right this very minute there is an Enya song playing. Caribbean Blue. That song was playing once as my Mom and I were walking through a mall in Kansas City. We'd just bought a bookcase for my first apartment (it's the one that stashes all my yarn today). I was having an internal "oh my god, I'm not a little girl anymore" moments. We were walking by a store that I would have usually said was piping its music way too loudly, except it was Enya, Caribbean Blue. Her ethereal voice and the haunting tune always takes me back to that very day and just how much I love my Mother. It reminds me how special she is and how important she is to me. We had a scare a good number of years ago and her health was not what we all felt it should be. I don't know if it took that, or just my growing up (so to speak) that made me realize what an amazing woman my mother is. Happy Mothers Day, Mom. I love you.

day of the doppelganger

Yesterday was an odd day, indeed. People would come in and seem familiar to me, but not as who there really were, but I thought they were someone else. Poor Janice became Siri...then Sumi. Herb was Keith. One woman (whose name I have never remembered) reminded me of another woman (whose name I have never remembered) but whose partner's name I remember so I asked how Allison was...blank stares.

As soon as I realized my foible (yeah, when they looked at me with confusion) I would laugh with them as they would tell me I was close (with their is Keith close to Herb?).

Today, it is Friday. I will be better about remembering people for who they really are (or would that be whom?).

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

baby hat of hate

I started a certain little baby's hat on Sunday at the stitch-n-bitch (and trust me, I was doing my fair share of the bitching). You see, I've never done a baby hat and hadn't realized that most, you have to make on four double pointed needles...a picture to show exactly how it's supposed to happen: (notice, the fiery reds and hell like feel to the photo, exactly how knitting on toothpick circumferenced needles where yarn falls off both ends feels like for me)

So, in theory, there would be stitches going all the way around, connecting all four of the needles. You use the fifth needle to do your knitting. Yeah, the thing is, if you aren't super careful (or just simply very very good) you can lose stitches off the ends of those double pointed needles. And trust me, I thought I was being super careful and I know I'm not very very good so...yeah, lost a few.

My guru and I started thinking that since I wasn't making the smallest baby hats ever I should try making one on circular needles. Usually, not possible because the shortest circulars are 16" in diameter and baby hats are usually a bit smaller than that so you really won't find it an effective way to knit. However...

It's a glimpse at the beginning of the baby hat made with love. So much love that this baby will want to keep it for the rest of her life (if her parents don't do it for her). The circulars are working and you know what that means? I just get to keep knitting in a circle. Never having to stop, switch to the next needle, etc. No eff-ity, eff, effs will come out of my mouth this time! No sir-ree bob!

Simply, I LOVES THAT BABY!!! And I haven't even met her yet!!!

Monday, May 08, 2006

the great debate

I started debating with myself a little while ago. Do I write about knitting here or start up another blog specially for that? You know, I have to say that after much thinking and taking into consideration all the feedback Kev has gotten from people like, say, Russ, I've decided to keep it all here, for now.

My suggestion will be to those, again like Russ, whom do not find themselves particularly jazzed about my entry for the day (when it is about knitting) they just check back the next day or so to see if I've updated with other non-knitting stuff.

My reasoning behind keeping it here is simple. It's part of our world. I knit. Kev plays video games. Josie, Chloe and Simon do a combination, eatsleepshitplay(but they still don't speak Spanish fluently). We're really not all that exciting.

Excuse me, but a certain little baby girls hat is calling my name and I am being told to knit.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

waiting is the hardest part

Today is our monthly Stitch-N-Bitch. I have about 15 minutes until I have to walk down and catch the bus. I'm going a bit early and finding fabulous, luscious yarn to make sweet baby things (hats) from. With so many people I know either having had them already, or getting ready to have them, I figured I could whip out a few and get some things in the mail. I'm only sorry I hadn't thought to do it earlier before the two babies came into the world did...but they are here now and have heads that need hatting. :)

(Kris, just don't tell Shelly and act surprised dammit!)

I have something on the needles for my friend, Reagan, but I'm not sure I'm liking the yarn and how it's working for this particular project. I like that it is made from Soy, but it's a flat ribbon type yarn and it's just okay for the thin, springtime scarf I'm making her. I've got a few things done as samples of how it knits up so I'll get input today at the S-n-B.

Josie is sad because she's getting the short end of the stick today. We're going hiking tomorrow, even though it's supposed to be rainy. My yogi will be joining us as she needs to see some joy. And nothing brings me more joy than watching Josie on a hike. That dog is goofy!

Okay, so 20 minutes til the bus is supposed to be arriving and I have a 7 minute walk to the stop and the stop that is the timed stop is two stops up the I should leave in about 8 minutes. :)


Saturday, May 06, 2006

the best kind of flowers

I got an email today from my mother. She said that our irises had bloomed, right on schedule. I guess prior to our wedding the white irises hadn't bloomed so early. But on our wedding day six years ago they bloomed with quite a spectacular show. Ever since then, they are always blooming on our anniversary.

Dad then sent me pictures of our irises. I promptly put the picture as my desktop photo at work so I could enjoy the view. I share them with you...

Friday, May 05, 2006

cinco de mayo

Yeah for me Cinco de Mayo is a lovely day. It is the day before my anniversary. This year Kev and I mark our 6th year together as a married couple (in real time we've actually been together for almost 10! years). I look back each year and think of all we have done together, what we've been through, the craziness I make him deal with and the video games I get to listen to. Every year brings about the same thought. And that thought is this:

I am truly lucky. I am married to an amazing person. He treats me with respect, yet knows when to give me shit. He laughs at me, but in the good way where I'm laughing with him. He knows when I need him to be tender (shut up fellas) but he also knows when I need him to be my knight in shining armor. Six years. Where did the time go? We often wonder that aloud to each other.

The 6th anniversary gift is iron. I have gotten him a pair of Teva hiking sandals (no, not made of iron, but will wear like iron!). I don't really expect anything in return and who knows, he may just surprise me (especially since I will wrap his sandals and leave them in plain sight so he can see it when he gets's that for subtle?).

Oh and Mom and Dad...LOVE the iron iron. :) I had a good laugh. Sorry, I opened it already! It's one of Grandma's old ones, isn't it? I love it!

So, happy Cinco de Mayo. If you celebrate, be safe. And tomorrow, raise a glass to six years of wedded bliss. :)

i stand corrected then i'll shut up

I was mistaken about one of the individuals and her stance on mammograms. Only one, former, member was refusing to go in. I have apologized to the other individual.

I now see that I need to fully read many of the posts being sent in, not just skimming.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

save the drama for your mamma

I sometimes have the ability to say things that really upset people without knowing what I'm saying upsets them. Personally, I believe that it is their choice to be upset. I try not to say mean and hurtful things on purpose. It's really not in my character. So when someone tells me that the words I write here have upset them, I also choose to be upset. I never call people names. I never say that X is stoopid. I might say I disagree or am "horrified" (to use a word in the previous post) by their actions or lack of actions, but that is my right as a human being.

However, I will not remove things I have posted if asked (nobody has asked, just fyi) if I feel 100% about what I've written. This is MY place to get things off my mind, and honestly, I hold back quite a bit because I don't want to upset anyone. Part of me feels that maybe I shouldn't hold back all the way. I mean, who reads this thing anyway?

I know at least one person does, and for some reason she feels the need send the link to people whom she knows will be affected, knowing it is going to make the person choose to be upset. And by doing this SHE is really the hurtful person, but she makes it look as though the person doing the writing, in this case me, is the hurtful and wrong person. She is "simply passing along information" the other person "may find interesting." Does that make any sense?

It makes me sad for person B (I'm A and the hurt one is C). She obviously is lacking something in her life that makes her feel the need to strike out against others and bring a feeling of unease to them.

I will admit, I was full of rage when I learned that she'd done it again. Then, I banned her butt (yes, animal list drama) and got over it. You see, I have friends in real life (as well as cyber) who know that the internet isn't the be all end all. I have friends whom I've met online and even though I've not yet met them in person, would call them a friend. I also have a list of people I've met online whom I don't trust (most of you reading, not on that list). I like the adage, keep your friends close and your enemies closer (although in retrospect I've just done the opposite at the list...but it was house keeping and it really needed to be done). I don't like having enemies though.

my first mammogram

An online pal of mine is going through some scary things right now with her health. There are lumps involved (not in her breasts), fatigue, just a feeling of being unwell. Her doctors told her they wanted to get her in for a mammogram. She has shared this with the online group (yeah, it's my online animal list so stuff it!) and a few of the women have made comments that I find horrifying. Two in particular outright REFUSE to have mammograms done. WHA?!?!?! We have a 14 year old girl on the list and I really think she's an impressionable young lady. Several of us have come down on the side of getting them done annually, once the doctors tell you it's time (or earlier if there are lumps and bumps found).

It brings to mind a story I've not shared here. Men, if you don't want to think of my "girls" then look away. If you do and it's in that sick twisted way, again I say, look away (and if you read DON'T comment any icky stuff cuz I will totally delete!!!).

My first Mamogram:

I was chatting one night about a year ago, on the phone with my dear friend Reagan. While blabbing away I noticed that there was a feeling in my right breast that really shouldn't be there. Now, I don't feel myself up while chatting on the phone with friends, but I happened to rest my hand on my chest and felt something odd. So I investigated. The conversation went like this...

Me: Holy shit!

R: What?!

Me: I feel a lump.

R: Where?

Me: Right breast and it's HUGE!

R: You'll call Monday, they'll get you in, it will be fine.

Me: Yeah, but I'm saying it is ginormous!!!!!

We went back and forth like this for a little while before we decided that it was a conversation that was getting me nowhere, but worked up. We decided that Kev should have a feel when he got home to confirm what I felt.

Me: I need you to do something but first know, it's not going anywhere!

Him: Ummm.

Me: Feel my right breast...right....there.

Him: Hmmmm.

Me: You feel it, don't you?

Him: yes.

Me: Okay, I will not panic, it's a lump. I will call Monday to make an appointment. Why does it have to be Friday night?!?!?!?!

Him (looking a bit green): Yes, Monday we'll go in.

I called that Monday and got in immediately. I love my doctor and his staff. I always leave feeling as though I've seen an old friend. Dr. Smucker (yes, that really is his name!) indicated he thought it was just a cyst because it was not hard like a rock and you could move it around. But, just to make sure, he sent me for my first mammogram. I was terrified. I felt that it was going to be the most painful thing ever in my life. I sat alone in the room with my paper top on (opening toward the front for easy access) and waited for the tech to come in and feel me up. She was a sweet woman. Caring and compassionate. She even went and got Kevin when it was all done and we were going to get a sonogram of the lump. Flatten does not begin to describe how the girls were treated by that machine. There was no booze or sweet nothinin's whispered. The tech simply hoisted them one by one on the plate and squished the hell out of each one two ways. The lumpy one had to get squished three times in one direction because it just wasn't catching it right. Joy. By the third squish, I actually felt like it wasn't going to ever come out of the vice grip, but I never felt actual pain.

We went to get the sonogram next. Again, everyone was nice and helpful and even though they looked at me with worry in their eyes, they were so kind about it all. The doc indicated he thought it was just a cyst, but we'd look around and see what we could see. It was large, in my mine, 2 cm x 3 cm. I think it felt bigger. He said that most of the times the cysts will go away on their own, but if I wanted we could have a needle biopsy. I decided to leave it be since everything was pointing to cyst. I kept an eye (and hand) on it and when I started to freak because it was starting to hurt, Kev reminded me to stop poking at it. Yeah, that helped it stop hurting.

It's now been a bit more than a year and the doc was right, it did dissolve. However, I keep feeling the girls and making sure there isn't anything to cause concern. If I ever feel a hard lump that will not move...Dr. Smucker will be called.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006


I am sitting at the coffee shop. I've just finished the ad and have sent it into the magazine. I've only been gone about an hour, and honestly, don't want to go back anytime soon. :)

The woman I was training this morning, fabulous. In a word, natural. I only wish she was the woman who was going to be downtown Sunday and Monday because I have a feeling she's going to be one well liked employee. It's good that she'll be out at our "mall" shop though. It needs charismatic people. She is that for sure.

The woman who is there now, she's going to take a little more, but should be good. She's thoughtful and I think really wants to do a good job. There is something to be said about that as well.

Thanks for the votes for swim. I was just feeling a wee bit overwhelmed this morning at the thought of training two people today. Yoga tonight, although I don't know what is going to happen at class because my yogi isn't in a good space right now in her life. We will set our intention for her tonight and send her all the positive energy we can muster.


sink or swim?

too much training.

brain turning to mush.

leaving work for an hour (later this afternoon).

must get ad done.

will she sink or swim?

i'm hoping swim...

Monday, May 01, 2006

today is the day

9 years ago our dear little Chloe was born (at least we are making it the day). She was brought into our family when she was four months old to befriend our older cat, Bob. He was not in good health and she became his nursemaid. She'd clean him and make sure he was taken care of when we were away. She is a special little girl in my world because of that very reason. She loved Bob as much as I did. I love her so very dearly.

So today, think of my girl on her 9th birthday and hope for at least 9 more!

This image was not taken today, but not much has changed.