Saturday, September 10, 2005

with a giggle, a guffaw and a whole lot of gin

Tomorrow Jill and I will set out to do the one thing we women hate more than...well, I can't compare it to birth since I've never given birth. I can't really say hate more than life because life is really good these days...let's just say...

it. ain't. fun.

To shop for bras. Now, men will have no idea exactly how painful (not in the literal sense mind you guys, but emotionally, although sometimes I suppose it can be painful literally) this chore can truly be. I'm sure guys think, "Hell, they got sizes, you know your size...easy." No, not easy.

I've tried on bras that *ahem* certain areas weren't being filled out and in my mind I couldn't understand why (and you should have heard the fits of laughter Jill and I had THAT day!). I've tried on bras that are "my size" only to have myself spilling out from over the top. I've tried on bras that made me wept because they in fact fit like they should...and cost about the same amount as a compact car. The most I've ever spent on a single undergarment, brace yourselves, is $52.00. This was many years ago when we first moved here and I thought to myself, "self, you now live where the air is green, the trails are plentiful, and the out of doors beckons during the sunny days. You must get a...SPORTS BRA!!!" So I did. I got one that held the girls in place when I jumped (which is NO SMALL FEAT). I wore the damn thing maybe a half dozen times over the past 4.5 years. Just recently I pulled it back out and actually started giving it the life it was born to live. And man now I can say, best $52 I've spent!

Tomorrow, we head out on this most annoying of tasks yet again. Now that I'm all sporty I think I'd like to get another sports bra. For the sake that the one I have is great, but I'd like to have a couple so when we hike on Monday I don't have to race to get it washed by Wednesday for yoga. But it's not only the sports bra I seek. Since losing close to 25 lbs I've realized that the bras I have in my drawer are a bit tired, for lack of a better term. They're stretched out from the years *YEARS* of doing their job of defying gravity. Did you know that a woman's breast can weigh...oh hell, like I know the actual weight. But they can be heavy and elastic and spandex have a life span. And my bras are past their prime!

So wish us luck on this journey (I won't even tell you the demons Jill faces during these shopping excursions) know that we will be laughing heartily (perhaps because of the lemon drops we will most likely consume) and bras will be bought!!!

2 comments:

Persico said...

I feel like someone should step in and say, "Ohhh, my little girl is grown up."

k said...

Victoria's Secret is evil. They are horrible (as in rude, and unaccomodating) to "larger women". I've been a victim, as has a friend of mine!! Ban the Vic!!!

(steps down off her soap box)

but yeah, a quality shop will get ya measured up proper. I need to do it myself, but have yet to suck up the embarassment of having someone fuss over my girls with a measuring tape. The mammogram was *quite* enough, thank you. :D

anyway, good luck you you in this venture! I got a new bike today, so I'm looking forward to the "accessorizing"--which means some new sports bras. Enell makes one called "The Last Resort". Ugly like sin, but they pretty much guarantee a bounce-free experience. Whoohoo!