Monday, June 18, 2007

not the end of the world...

I am currently working at the kids store. Kids. Shoes. Parents. Now I adore kids, don't get me wrong. And some parents are rockin'! However, the me batty! No two brands run the same in length, some are wider than others, while some run short, some just are dumb. Nothing different than at the regular stores I work at (selling shoes from ladies size 5 and up). It's just the combination and the unknown. I don't know kids feet. I am learning, though.

I have had two great kids/parents in today that I got to help. Both resulted in sales, one in a hug. I was smitten with the little girl. We'd been trying to get her to run in the shoes to see if she'd trip on the toes (a sure sign they are too long, I've learned). I knelt down and she bolted into my arms. OMG! It's like crack. I want more hugs from little ones. I think I need a Henry fix soon.

I had a woman tell me yesterday (when I was at one of the "regular" locations) that there is no way I could love Henry as though he were my own. I disagreed with her. She was adamant about nobody being able to love kids that are not theirs as though they were, it was just not possible. I pulled out the big guns of:

"well, when your body does not let you have the kids you so desperately want, and your close friends have babies, you can love them with every fiber of your being...I even have pictures of him on my phone...he lights up when I enter a room...I love him like no other child...I don't ever get tired of being with him..." the list continued. I came back around to the first part though. Her husband looked at me with sympathy in his eyes and annoyance at his wife.

I have decided when complete strangers ask when we are going to start having kids I am not going to sidestep the question anymore. I am going to be honest and tell them when my body lets me. And so far, it ain't letting me. It hurts more than anyone could know, well, anyone other than families who are going through this as well.

My friend and coworker Jessica agrees that you can love others kids as much as your own. And when you are the parent of the child in question, it warms your heart knowing your baby is loved so much.

So I will work at the kids store, play with my friends babies and children and be the best darn aunt I can be. Henry will be spoiled beyond belief!


Hale McKay said...

Some people don't have a clue. I like how you stood up to that woman.

Hale McKay said...

Oh. I stopped by because of your comments at Jack's (Your dad?) about the little boy and the baseball game.

Amanda said...

I think that's a graceful and direct answer, and I'm proud of you. If people are going to ask personal questions, they'd better be ready to hear the truth once in awhile.

PlazaJen said...

I'm glad you said something to that woman, because nobody can be an authority on who or how much you can love someone else. The nerve!
I was daydreaming today about how I hope I can be the cool family friend to my dear friend's little girl, when she grows up & can't talk to her mom. I had one of those, and she was awesome. Sometimes I wonder if we'll adopt or foster kids later in life, too. It's just not our thing, having our own, we're way too selfish. I can't imagine the challenge & ache of wanting and not getting :( You still smile through it all, so kudos and hugs....

Jack K. said...

You always bring a smile to my face, a tear to my eye and joy to my heart.

I know that the pain of wanting a child of your own can be almost unbearable. I am so proud of you being able to confront the unwitting do-gooders, busybodies, noseypokers who happen to cross your path. Who knows, maybe they will come away from the interaction a little wiser. Or not.

I am whole-heartedly with you. You can love others as you love your own. It begins with loving yourself.

Love ya so much,


PS: Hale, amanda, & plazajen you are all right on. I agree with you.

Becky said...

I like what you said to the woman as well. I've learned that unless it's someone I know real well, it's really none of my damn business if or when they're going to have kids. It's a private issue.