this feeling

i can't quite shake this weird anxious feeling lately. at the beginning of the year i opted to live life differently and changed the direction things were going. i went back to an hourly rate at the clog store and stepped down from the role of general manager. i took a pay cut with this choice, and i knew it would mean i'd have to find the money elsewhere. 

i started selling glasses direct to people for Amy Sacks Eyewear, a local Portland company. sales have been going well and i can see the potential of it growing to something really great. the only thing i'm having a hard time seeing is how to garner interest in hosting a trunk show (still not sure what i want to call them, but not parties). so far, i've had two people host events and one won free frames. at the one get together i had at the house, and drew a name for who would play "host" to it, i had a friend win a free pair. 

i also worked in the world of tv production on the craft service team for a show that tapes here in pdx. it was awesome and exhausting and fun all at once. there is a season, for the filming of things, and we're about to hit the slow season. i guess i got in late in the game? i'm hoping that there will be a commercial or two i can work on, to earn some extra cash. 

meanwhile, i'm just trying to rid myself of this feeling of a low dose of adrenaline being constantly let into my system. it isn't a good feeling and i wish it would go away. 

any suggestions on how to get people intrigued by the idea of hosting an event...

 

oh life, how fun it is

many of my friends and family have been wondering what all my posts on facebook have been about, with the overnight jobs, etc. i figured i should just blab a bit here...

i still am working at the shoe store (where i have the worlds most awesome boss) on a part time basis. i have a few floor days, but also have a floating office day. my boss has allowed me to step down from some responsibilities that were no longer fun for me (and quite overwhelming since we have grown to 7 stores over the past 10 years...what, with increasing his staff from 3 to 26). the office day can be divided up between writing checks and filing and being creative in the stores and on the web.

back in october of last year, i helped a friend on her wedding day by overseeing every little detail so she was allowed the luxury of being a bride and enjoying her guests. she said it was perfect, which swelled my heart. :) why am i telling you this? well, she owns her own business, old school craft services.  some of their guests were people they work with in the industry (her husband works along side her). many asked her what production company i worked for and they all were a little surprised to hear i sold shoes. never, in a million years, did i think that day would be the biggest job interview i would ever have. i've been training with her since march, anytime she can hire me on. it's been exhilarating.


and as if that's not enough? i started selling eyewear (which most of my dear ones know about already). check out amy sacks for more of that.

there are many stories, but i'm too pooped to tell any right now.

"[they go] up to eleven"

happy eleventh, bay-bee!

Eleven years ago today, I was given the most beautiful rings as a token of my dear Kevin's love and commitment.

 The rings that, after the first year of wearing them, I developed an allergy, making wearing them sporadic.

The rings that, after losing 45 lbs, are now too big and slip and slide around on my finger, when I can wear them.

The rings that I love so very much from the man I love even more.

I've had to put my rings to bed, as I don't think we should spend the money resizing rings that make my finger break out into a lovely rash every so often. Mmmm, rash.

Happy Anniversary, My Love... 

the year of personal change

i had an epiphany of sorts the beginning of this year. i walked into our bedroom and saw the pile of my clothes next to the bed and i thought to myself, "really? this is how i want to live?" 

it was that moment i decided i was done being a slob. i think it's safe to say that we all have fallen prey to that life now and again. a dish left in the sink overnight, crumbs not being wiped from the counter, bed going unmade (i swear, getting into a made bed beats trying to navigate the mess of sheets and blankets if you don't make the bed). it started to make me realize at the age of 38, i have to grow up and stop being lazy.

i shared this with kev and i have to say, we've both been doing our part (with one or two slip ups here and there). it's felt good. i feel like i'm being present in my life again. 

this is the year i stop living lazy. 

"things are gonna change, i can feel it."  Loser by Beck

yes, it's been a while.

so i know it's been a while since i've written anything. i call it, lack of inspiration...

until two days ago. i had a total FML (Ef My Life) moment.

i walked in the door, the smell was there. cold dog shit. i looked all around and instead found slimy dog vomit. start cleaning that up (after donning rubber gloves) and when almost complete i notice the second spot of old dog vomit. i wonder how we both managed to miss it and walked towards it, ready to clean. that's when i saw...the mother freaking load of dog vomit.

it was like a comedy at this point. i was waiting to turn yet another corner and find dog shit. thankfully i didn't. josie's acting fine, not out of sorts. i've started giving her smaller portions and so far, knock on wood, she's not had another incident since. 

yeah, it takes dog vomit to inspire me. what kind of a sick person am i?!?!

what to write

it's always tough for me to figure out what to write after a slightly heavier post. i don't want to appear as callous and over the feelings, but i also don't want to wallow there either. 

that being said, let the next post begin...

on sunday kev and i had a whirlwind day, okay I had a whirlwind day. kev got to sleep in and have a leisurely afternoon. anyway, i got up early, showered, and walked over to sweetness bakery to meet a couple of girlfriends. after we shared conversation over pastries and coffee, i bid jill adieu and jenn and i scooted off to pick blueberries. her family has friends who have a you pick place west of the river, where she grew up. we got a heck of a deal on some of the best berries i've ever tasted! that is saying a lot because i'm not such a fan of the plain blueberry. give them to me in muffin, pancake, crumble...form and i'm fine.

after that fun excursion, leading me to have almost 17 lbs of blueberries and owing jenn $$, she and i went back to her house. kev came to pick me up, but i told him to give me some time because i was going to walk up to close knit to get a notion i needed. that took about an hour or so. by this time i am needing another shower, the berries made my hands dirty and quite frankly the walk left me a bit sweaty.

i had a little bit of time to get cleaned up and ready for our next date, dinner with our friends christie and scott and lil' t. kev and i decided to bike down, roughly 58 blocks, and were crazy early so we tooled around this wild labyrinth part of town called ladd's addition. it was beautiful, the streets are mostly covered by tall trees making for a lovely ride as it was sunny and quite hot. 

finally it was closer to time and we decided to head to the carts. there's these food carts at 12th and hawthorne in se portland that are open on sundays. man, i finally got to try poutine. holy hell, i am in love!!! kev and i shared a medium sized portion before getting a couple of mediocre tacos and ending the whole experience with the fried pies. thankfully we worked some of that off on our bike ride home, which was mostly up. happy to report, neither one of us had to get off our bikes and walk. :)

anyway, we got home from a great early evening with our friends and drop our bikes off, fed the crew and headed over to celebrate with a new ten year old and his family and friends. man, it felt good to sit still when at the house, but those boys were crazed. running, singing, i'm pretty sure they were all wearing underwear on their heads. and that was all before the cake! it was fun, none the less. 

i don't think i've ever slept so soundly as i did that night. i'm still kind of recovering...

where is my moon?

where is my moon? it's got to be in some wacky house or all akimbo somehow, because i've had an off kind of week. not remembering things at work (which is really unlike me) and feeling rather tired and lazy around the house. before anyone goes there, i am not pregnant. that's not really an option for me.

it has to be with my moon. or i'm just having an off week and it will all get better soon. it will get better because i am going to make it better. in fact right now, i'm logging off this computer and making a pie crust for a quiche i will make later.


take that, moon!

who knew?

i am a person who even though i chat a lot, i really like quiet. when i get home, i often times don't turn any music or television on for hours. 

the morning hours are often my favorites because everyone is still sleeping (aside from Chloe who hangs with me most of the time). there is a hush over the house, except for the clacking of the keys as i type. 

at work my friends/coworkers there see me being my most 'on' self and honestly believe i am that way all the time. sure, i am that person, obviously, but being 'on' all the time is hard and tiring.  between my 'on' persona and my relaxed self, it's either lots of chatter or nothing at all. the nothing at all freaks people out, i am sure. i don't think people know that i'm not 'on' all the damn time. and when they argue with me about who i am when they don't see me...it's frustrating. i mean shit, who should know me better than me?

this girl must turn herself down from being at 11 at all times. it's exhausting people!

so if you invite me out and i say no, it's not that i don't love you or want to hang out, it's just i've had a tiring 'on' kind of day...and just need to be quiet. seriously.

why hello

meet Abe. he is my new friend. no, he does not live with me. i just met him this morning as he and his family were standing out front of the store. i rushed out to meet him and fell head over heels. his fam said they'd make sure to stop by again so we could see each other.

they kept saying how much he seemed to like me as he perched on my shoulder. he washed his face while sitting there. 

i am happy that they will bring him back around this summer. he had my heart the moment i saw him.

it has sprung

tonight is perfection. perfection i tells you! the air is warm with a hint of a chill. the sun was bright and still fills the air with light, although it is starting to fade. 

i spent a good chunk of the night sitting on my neighbor's porch, drinking a beer and chatting. we spoke of the garden and how we have things planted. finally! five kinds of tomatoes, six plants total (can never have too many romas for the salsa!). three types of peppers, spinach, romaine, potatoes (it may be too late for them, but we're keeping fingers crossed), walla walla onions, zucchini. garlic is up and will be ready later this summer (although we failed to plant more this crop seems to be volunteer). and we have leeks! typically a fall harvest, we have many that are ready to be plucked from the earth and enjoyed. 

currently i am making a potato, leek, and ham gratin. we'll see how it turns out. 

kev's work is in the process of changing  a bit. he's staying with the company, just changing locations. until he is there permanently, his schedule is all wonky. i think we get one maybe two evenings a week together. but we know it's only temporary. meanwhile, i will be making soup to freeze for the winter with more of the leeks. it's nice to cook in the house alone sometimes. although i would prefer to get to hang with kev...ah well. this too shall pass.

ten

ten years ago today i was all aflutter because i was going to be walking down the aisle to marry my best friend. i can hardly believe it's been ten years already. it seems just like yesterday when we even met...

when we did meet he thought i asked too many questions and i thought he was cute but not my type. at least only one of us was right. :)

i can't imagine my life without my dear husband in it. he's kind, compassionate, scattered, absent minded, beautiful, funny, everything all wrapped up into one amazing person. i thank my lucky stars that i listened to my friend mark about applying to work at CLO in lawrence. had i not, i might not have met kevin...

i make things

from time to time i like to knit things. okay, maybe that's a bit of an understatement. trust me when i tell you, i have a knitting project of some sort with me at all times. unless i am going to the vet like this morning. nothing major. just josie's annual. she's doing really well. doc said so.

anyway, last winter i made scarves for a couple of lovely ladies in my life. i liked the giant cable idea, but also wanted something small and snuggly that didn't have the lengthy tails of a regular length scarf. so i came up with a shorter version, added some buttons and voila! a neck warmer.

i made jill's out of alpaca. she took it away from me before i could add the buttons siting she had the perfect ones. i would agree with her. only one is functioning, the other is decorative, but i think it works well!

i have a few things on the needles right now. one is a lap blanket that is inspired by the one i made my nephew. i picked out the majority of the yarn when i was visiting him when he was just 8 weeks old. i sent it to the family with my parents this holiday season. it was a labor of pure love.

the one i am making mom is all the cream color and the blocking is a little different. i am just about halfway there. i have to get more yarn from a friend...must remember to email helen.

i also have a skirt on the needles for myself. it was the project i took with me on our trip (the blanket was getting a bit too big to be a traveling project). i got quite a bit done, but that is easy when all you have to do is sit and knit between going out for food, golfing, lazing around a "river". sadly, i've got no pictures of it, but it is a beautiful purple color. i can hardly wait for it to be done (hell on that, i can't wait for both projects to be done).

and let me not forget the putter cover a certain father-in-law requested. it's not on the needles yet, but it's on the brain.

it was a grand idea

i had this idea that i would come back from vacation and give a grand recap of the events. i was going to write of the sky divers we watched land on the day we arrived. my favorite part was when i called out, "i think the plane is pooping people!" it was kind of hard to see them as they fell out of the plane (until their chutes opened). i also had ideas of telling you of my love for the lazy river. she was a beauty that held us captivated for three rounds, until the gaggle of tween girls and boys arrived. then we high tailed it to the water slide! there was a family cookout where everyone gathered together for great food and relaxed conversation. the burgers, they may have been some of the best we've eaten. but even so, i will continue the quest to find the best (what, i like burgers?) i think we even golfed. 9 holes. par 3 course. i golfed a 52. yeah, you do the math on that one...we ate and drank and were merry.

that was my intent, but instead, i came home and threw myself back into work and life. it's been busy. and that is grand.

leaving on a jet plane

although i do know when we'll be back again. late on thursday night.

we're heading to arizona to visit with family. kev's dad and step-mom live there as well as his little sister (and her beau, whom we've not met yet). his mom and step-dad are joining the fun, too. they actually got there yesterday (assuming they could get out of their snow bound house in arkansas).

a few days in the sun, relaxing, laughing, enjoying one anothers company...sounds perfect.

but today, today i must work. 10-7. then we have friends coming for dinner and we're having a slumber party! our house sitter is going to stay the night tonight because we leave so dang early for the airport and josie has pills that she needs a bit later than the time we leave, so he'll feed them when he gets up at a normal hour (perhaps i mentioned that here before).

i am almost finished packing. just have the toiletries that we'll still need in the morning to plop into their ziploc bag and then into the suitcase. one little wheelie for the two of us. rolling your clothing really does make a difference. i can't believe what all i got into the case! so kev will lug that and i'll have the big bag of snacks and entertainment (books, crosswords, knitting) as well as my purse. the last two bags aren't finished being packed yet because the dog would get into the snack bag and we'd have no snacks and i am using my purse.

this is real exciting stuff to read, isn't it?!? compelling, i am sure.

so yes, we're taking a vacay! a much needed vacay. must remember to print boarding passes when i get to work. we're out of flipping paper here...bah!

it arrives! a photo story...thank you vicki

next week at this exact time

we are heading to arizona to see family on sunday morning. early. so early i don't even want to think about just how early i will have to get up and function. we will be parking at the airport because quite frankly, we can't trust that a cab would show up (never have they showed up when we depart as early as we are). and we didn't want to ask anyone to take us...trust me, it's early.

most who know me know i am a planner. i love trips because they allow me to plan, think, and sketch what i am going to wear the entire time i am gone.

today has been a day of washing clothing and getting the house ready for our house sitter. he's coming over the night before we leave because we have to go so early that it's too early to feed them. yeah, it's early.

anticipation

i never enter blog give-aways because normally i tend not to win.

:)

thanks vicki, i can hardly wait.

eep

full of good

work today was pretty fantastic. i got to look at fall 2011 dansko styles. fun stuff coming in ladies and gents! fun stuff indeed.

had lunch bought for us by our new rep. the cajun catfish po-boy at bridgeport was amazing!! holy moly so damn good.

got back to the office and took care of the things my boss asked me to, setting up meetings for next week to talk about advertising, writing checks, etc. helped the associate who was working the sales floor downstairs from the office rearrange and break down a ton of extra boxes we never seem to need.

am home now and am listening to a playlist of music i made called "busy". all songs are upbeat and motivating. of course sitting here writing isn't what i was intending to be motivated to do. the laundry calls and some dishes need to be washed by hand (pots and pans).

but even in those chores we love to hate...there is joy.

it'd be done by now

i must admit that i am disappointed that i can not install the dishwasher myself. i am waving my white flag and kicking my own ass because i didn't shell out the money to have it professionally done. kev said it right this morning as i was admonishing myself to him, we make a good team. this was one of those shopping trips it would have been a good idea to have the whole team there, but because i had my parents in and we were wanting to do things...i am disappointed in my half of the team. she should have waited for her rational half to be able to go to the deep hole.

i feel like i was duped, in a way. just the way jim said it wasn't a difficult thing to do, playing to the ego of my home improvement self. surely it will cost us more now to set up an installation...and there will be rewiring needing to happen (don't ask, please).

i will be calling in the morning and discussing the fact that i need someone to take care of it for me, someone who knows what they are doing. and i will tell jim that in the future he should suggest people really do pay the extra $100...of course i have to wonder if he gets some kind of kick back if people have to arrange after delivery installation. i am sure it will cost more than the original $99.99 if you had it installed upon delivery. disappointing because he seemed like a likable kind of guy.

so i am on dish duty until it gets taken care of. my penance, if you will.

noon to four

i will be heading into work shortly to get a few loose ends tied up before opening at 11:00. around an hour later i will be heading home to wait for our new dishwasher to be delivered. i opted not to pay the extra $100 to have someone else install it. jim, the gentleman who sold me the new washer, peered over his glasses when i originally said i wanted them to. he said something along the lines of, "really? you really want to pay us $99.99 to install it? it's really not that hard if you're handy." well, anyone who knows me knows that that was the invite to do it myself.

i fancy myself a tool belt girl. i can get jobs done and done right the first time. hell, between myself and my bff we retiled the kitchen backsplash. and people tell us it looks like a pro did it!

so last night i embarked on the uninstalling the old washer (who had decided that it wanted to be persnickety and be incredibly difficult to open). we decided to use some of our xmas money we were gifted towards a new dishwasher. i can hardly wait to get it in the house...it's just that pretty.

let me tell you, unhooking the old washer wasn't difficult to do, but it was a tricky angle to do it. i did some amazing yogic poses when i wasn't even trying. i didn't realize i would fit under the sink and around the disposal. but somehow i did and the water is turned off, hose unhooked, and the return hose is also pulled out. i just have to cut the power and then cut the wire. sadly it wasn't simply plugged into the wall via a socket and i will have to do a bit of splicing. but jim assured me this was an easy task. same to same and we bought the installation pack for doing such, just in case.

i will kick ass. i will get this bad boy installed tomorrow (unless i get the wild hair to do it today). it's official, too. i am an adult. i've never been so excited about an appliance....

just wait until we get a new range.